In the early 2000’s, Jamie Tworkowski’s posted a story on MySpace to help fund treatment for his friend Renee who was struggling with depression, addiction, and suicidal thoughts. The post was peppered with religious language, boldly claiming that “God works in love, speaks in love, is revealed in love” and even speaking of friendship as “the Body of Christ coming alive” to meet needs.

Tworkowski blinked, and the post went viral, eventually morphing into a national movement fighting suicide and addiction under the name “To Write Love On Her Arms” (TWLOHA).

Today, the organization has risen to national prominence and raises awareness about these issues and inspires hope through apparel, a feature film, and a new book. TWOLA was named Mashable’s “Must Follow Non-Profit” in 2010 and was awarded $1 million by the American Giving Awards in 2011. But while Tworkowski’s zeal for TWLOHA’s mission remains strong, he says he wrestles more with faith now than when he started. Here, we discuss his book, “If you Feel Too Much: Thoughts on Things Found and Lost and Hoped For”, and how his spirituality has changed over time.

RNS: You are writing to people who experience profound depression and despair. How will this book offer them hope in ways your previous work hasn’t?

JT: This book is a collection of my writing from the last 10 years. If someone has a favorite piece of mine, there’s a good chance it’s in this book. I also tell stories that people haven’t heard before. After Hurricane Katrina, for example, I had the privilege of spending two days inside the Houston Astrodome, basically just sitting and talking with people who had evacuated from New Orleans. This was before TWLOHA started. I write about my time there, about what I saw and felt, and the people and stories I encountered. Overall, I realized I had written a lot that I was proud of, and I wanted the best of that writing to end up in a book. For me, it’s sort of like these are my songs and the best ones are finally ending up on an album.

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After an unknown illness sent him into a vegetative state, Martin Pistorius’ parents were told that their son had less than two years to live. The Pistoriuses plummeted into depression. They had lost their boy before he ever reached adulthood, went to college, or had a chance to wed and have children. Or so they thought.

A decade later, emerging computer technology allowed Martin to communicate that he was still alive, but trapped inside his own body. This allowed doctors to help him return from the darkness and regain his life. His gripping memoir, Ghost Boy: The Miraculous Escape of a Misdiagnosed Boy Trapped Inside His Own Body, shares the consequences of misdiagnosis and what Martin experienced at the hands of abusive caretakers. Sitting in a wheelchair and talking through a computer, he shares how faith sustained him through that dark decade.

RNS: The title of your book is “Ghost Boy.” Explain what this means.

MP: That title expresses that I existed for so many years like a ghost. Invisible. I could hear and see everything, but it was like I wasn’t there.

RNS: During the years you were trapped inside your body, you say you felt God’s presence as your mind knitted itself back together. Explain this.

MP: [tweetable]I don’t know how I came to realize God. He was just always there.[/tweetable] He still is there. I grew up in a Christian home, but we very rarely attended church. This combined with the path my life had taken meant that I never learned the formalities of faith. But I became very close to God. There were many, many times where I felt utterly alone, even if there were people around me. But while a part of me experienced the extreme loneliness and isolation another part of me always felt the presence of the Lord.

Unlike the people around me, God knew I existed. And I knew He existed. I often found myself talking to God. Perhaps one could call them prayers, even though my eyes were open and my hands weren’t pressed together.

RNS: If God was really with you during those years, why didn’t God just help you come back? It seems like you’d be mad at God, no?

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