So, You Wanna Be a Writer? Part Four.

Tip #4: Relationships Are Key

We’ve all heard someone utter the following phrase: “It’s not what you know; it’s who you know.” As kitschy cliché as it may be, there is some truth in that, even for writers.

Many would-be writers today think that the way to succeed as a writer is simply to improve your writing skills. If I become a great writer, the logic says, the market will reward my talent. While such an approach has worked for some people I know, I would add that every writer will go farther and achieve more through building and developing strong relationships.

Any success that I have enjoyed as a writer is directly related to the people I’ve met and befriended along the way. My editors can tell you stories about the hand-written thank you notes and Christmas cards that I’ve sent along the way. My mentors can attest to my teachability and willingness to internalize and act upon their graciously shared wisdom. This has been the biggest secret to my “success.”

Here are a few practical tips that will ramp up your potential as a writer:

Find a mentor. One of the most beneficial things I’ve ever done was to pursue a mentor. This person knows me and I know them. We trust each other. Perhaps most valuable is the freedom I’ve given my mentor to speak truth into my life.

A few years ago, I was disgruntled with a magazine editor for giving me the run around, and I decided to drag my feet on a deadline out of spite. When I vented to my mentor, she lovingly reminded me, “Jonathan, you are better than that. Do the right thing.” I took her advice, finished the piece immediately, and salvaged an editorial relationship I might otherwise have destroyed.

I’ve been incredibly blessed to find a mentor who has published over a dozen books and knows the industry inside and out. Most people won’t be so lucky, but it doesn’t matter. Find someone who you can look up to—a high school English teacher or local newspaper reporter—and commit to listening to his or her wisdom even when it hurts.

Allow trusted voices into your life and work. In the last few years, I’ve become a part of a writer’s group with about a half dozen writers in the Atlanta area. This is a trusted circle of friends who meet regularly and critique each other’s work. Unlike my mentor, these friends are on the same level I am and we engage each other as peers. Having a symphony of voices in ever-present your life will greatly improve your writing.

Never be afraid to network. The word networking sounds cheap and surface-y. It conjures up images of a cocktail party where attendees pass out business cards and brag on themselves. But networking is incredibly helpful as relationships are key in writing and publishing. Don’t be self-aggrandizing or overly aggressive but never shy away from making a connection that could help you in your career.

In a perfect world, good writers would succeed and poor writers would drift off into obscurity. But in reality many good writers never find traction and, as a visit to your local bookstore will attest, many poor writers find a way to succeed in today’s marketplace. The difference between struggling through your writing career and surpassing even your own expectations may just be the relationships you build today.

Check out other thoughts on writing in this series.

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